This article talks about the expectations parents set on kids. We don’t even realize it, but most of us do.
I have an intriguing observation to share here:
Interestingly, most of my friends who have kids, their Whatsapp DP (Profile pic) has their kid(s) photo only. One photo, another photo, even more photos over a period of time. This was not the case sometime back. Earlier they used to keep photos of parents / friends / some scenery but for a short period of time. DP used to be mostly about them, and less about others. But now it’s mostly (and sometimes solely) about kids. In some DP, kid is wearing a new dress; in one pic kid is just giving a cute expression, in some other pic kid has got a medal / award etc.
Most of us love kids, don’t we? And indeed it’s a great feeling to be around them. But, here’s a caveat — howcome (after we have kids), everything revolves around the kid(s)?
Parents’ own aims, ambitions, goals ostensibly cease to exist. It is all about the kid. If kid is doing good in sports / studies, then it is parents’ success; if the child is reciting a poem in front of other elders, then it is an achievement of parents; if kid is winning a competition, again it was all because of parents which they proudly show or talk about.
And, this goes on long term, from kid reciting poems in front of guests to clearing national level entrance exams — everything boosts parents’ prestige. If kid does well — parents achievement; if kid does bad — parents’ failure. As time goes on, all you see parents talk about is — their children’s failure / success.
Have you thought about it?
To all parents out there,
Your kid will do good, and stand on his / her own two legs. We must obviously support, guide, mentor them but we need to stop attaching our prestige with the kid’s achievement / failure. And for that all of us, we have to keep that fire of doing / achieving something in life alive. We need to keep the hustle going; we need to try, absorb, lead, fall even after we have kids. And, even if you want to “settle”, you need to stop putting all your ambitions as kid’s achievements. But take my word on this, if you don’t have something on your own goals, you might be somewhere making your goals into your child’s. Introspect, will you?
PS: I remember, when I received my 10th std. result; I overheard my mother telling someone that I got 92.2 % (school 2nd), and somehow our prestige was saved. I am sure many of us have faced similar situations, haven’t we?
So, now when it comes to you taking the role of parents, introspect, don’t repeat what you faced. If we look deeply, many of us are repeating the same though unconsciously; I am sure we can do better :)